Hey guys, good to be back. I’ve been spending a lot of time this week putting together my first After the FACT. So, this didn’t quite go up as soon as I had planned, but it did allow me ample time to learn things. Things that you should know. Things that led to everything I’m about to say in the next paragraph.
Looks like we finally got a game that lots of people have been optimistically, if not excitedly, waiting for. That game is Aliens: Colonial Marines. I don’t want to spoil too much of what’s in store after the break, but if you just read that, remembered it was out, and were about to run to the store to grab it… maybe don’t do that thing.
Aliens: Colonial Marines (Xbox 360, PS3, PC): I’ve started to see a lot of commercials popping up for this game. It seems like it might be one of those fun, but not great games that we all end up playing from time to time. You know, something like Warhammer 40K: Space Marine. I can only hope the Aliens have learned to speak fluent English with the accent to go right along with it.
Well, thanks to not getting this all written and posted as soon as I had hoped, the embargo on Colonial Marines has expired. Reviews are out. Everybody who doesn’t work at EGM seems to think it’s pretty much shit. I guess they were sent the good copy.I don’t know why they didn’t just put the good copy in all the boxes. This is probably the best review I’ve seen/read:
Impire (PC): I kind of hate the name of this game. From the GameSpot description:
“In Impire, you take control of the demon Baal-Abaddon as he attempts to rebuild his mighty hell spawn form.”
Oh, so like, I get it. His hell spawn form is an empire. And he’s an imp… so it’s like… his Impire. His body is an Impire. John Mayer should probably write a song about that.
Side note: I bet I looked super cool bringing up John Mayer’s entire discography in public just to make sure he actually wrote that song. Don’t ever say we don’t fact check around here.
Brain Age: Concentration Training (3DS): I’ve never actually tried a Brain Age, but I’ve always kind of wanted to. I’m one of those people who immediately forgets a person’s name. I don’t mean I forget it 10 seconds later. I mean I don’t think it actually ever even registers. Somebody could say to me, “hey there, my name is go fuck yourself,” and I would just smile and shake their hand and then avoid any situation where I have to say his name the rest of the night because I don’t fucking know what it is. All the while wondering why they’re being so rude to me because I missed the whole part that would have told me this was the kind of situation I was getting into. Why am I hanging out with people like this? This bar sucks. I’m just gonna go home.
Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed (3DS): This game continues its steady trickle onto every system. This has to be the third or fourth time I’ve seen it on this list.
Last Thursday and Friday I had to make a tour across Texas to go to some meetings. No, not fun meetings talking about awesome shit for this site, but stupid meetings about roads. All things pertaining to my other job. But, as I was pulling into the hotel in Abilene, TX I noticed a Play & Trade video game store. I buy most of my games new, so the prospect of grabbing any current gen titles on the cheap wasn’t really my focus. I was hoping they just had some old games I could rummage through and maybe find something worth buying. And, well, I mean I found something. Whether it was worth buying is debatable. Here, I’ll just show you.
If I recall correctly, Shaq sat court side during the NBA All-Star game festivities with this game hooked up and people took turns playing it while basketballers did slam dunks or something. It was a long time ago. That’s how I remember it. I still haven’t played it since I made the purchase. I hope it’s laughably bad. Maybe I’ll record some of it for you guys. Maybe I’ll get Harris to come over and play it with me. We’ll see. Hey Harris, consider this your official invite.