Video games come out every week, and I’m going to tell you a thing or two about them. Actually, this is really just a forum for me to briefly mention a game coming out and then talk about BBQ or something. I won’t be covering every new release. That seems like a fool’s errand. Besides, I’m way too lazy to make sure I find every game. If I can’t be informative, maybe I can at least be entertaining.
The summer continues to roll on and we continue to get a whole lot of nothing. This week I ask what the fuck Microsoft was thinking with their summer of arcade lineup, the Vita store gets a shining beacon in a barren wasteland, and I talk about boxes. Fuck, I love boxes.
Also, PAX is just around the corner! Let’s get to it.
Deponia (PC): Believe it or not, people other than Telltale are allowed to make point and click adventure games. Whether or not they’re any good at it is another story. This one seems okay. So… maybe go play it?
Hybrid (Xbox 360): The coveted “Summer of Arcade” has brought us some pretty remarkable games over the years. However, it seems like they forgot the point of the whole thing this year. They released a Kinect game that wasn’t The Gunstringer, so they’ve already done fucked up. I know The Gunstringer is already out, but I don’t think that Twisted Pixel would mind a little more fanfare and money. But, fear not, Hybrid is here to save the day? I mean, what better way to bring up the quality than with a super generic third-person cover-based shooter? Seriously, what are you doing, Microsoft? Were you spending too much time trying to make Windows Phone 8 at viable thing? Was that Surface tablet really bogging down quality control around there? DID ANYBODY EVEN TRY THESE GAMES BEFORE YOU PUT THEM ON YOUR STORE?! Get it together, man.
Sound Shapes (Vita, PS3): Would you like to play Sound Shapes, but you’re having some trouble? Ok, let me help you out.
- First off, grab your Vita. Really? Did you check by the 3Ds? Well I know you hate spiders, but those cobwebs aren’t going to clear themselves. Besides, there likely isn’t a living spider in there. It was back there? Cool.
- Batteries are dead, huh? Ok, charge ‘er up. I’ll wait.
- Click the single, lonely icon within the “new releases” section of the Vita store.
You’re all set! Beck it up, homey.
Hero Academy (PC): I’ve started to notice that I really like the boxes that usually have fancy electronic gadgets in them. I’ve always liked the boxes, but I’ve only recently become aware of how much. I kept the boxes from my last two cell phones up until the point that I got rid of those cell phones. Today I walked into a Subway for lunch and I saw a guy with a Best Buy bag. The boxes for fancy electronics have a distinct look and feel. It’s usually a white box. The lettering, and sometimes images and icons, are usually pressed into the box. A lot of times they have a glossy finish. Anyway, this guy’s was definitely carrying a new electronic toy. I found myself getting excited for him. Seeing that kind of box is like adult Christmas regardless of the time of year. The great thing about being an adult is that I get to see these boxes a little more often, and let me tell you, it hasn’t lost one single bit of its excitement because of that. I should probably stay off of Amazon for a few hours.
What I’ve Been Playing Instead Of Any Of These:
I still can’t really say a lot publicly about what I’ve been playing. I can say that it’s super fun and I’ve blown up a lot of stuff. I can tell you that if you buy a founders package in MechWarrior Online right now, you get immediate access to the beta. I can’t tell you if any of these things are related. I can also leave you with this.
Also, guys, PAX is just a few weeks away! Who’s going? Please let us know in the comments. We’d really like to see everybody. Keep an eye on our twitter accounts (@GameOverNation, @AirstrikeRhino, @JaviG0N) for information on where we’ll be. Please come say hi. We’ll give you some stickers and buttons while supplies last. This is assuming I remember to bring these things. Somebody better remind me.
Alright, Imma go blow shit up now.