Video games come out every week, and I’m going to tell you a thing or two about them. Really, that might be the most I can tell you. I won’t be covering every new release. That seems like a fool’s errand. Besides, I’m way too lazy to make sure I find every game. If I can’t be informative, maybe I can at least be entertaining.
You know it’s a quiet week when the biggest releases are two expansion packs and the PC version of a game that came out on consoles a month ago. On the bright side, we’re just a shade over a month from the release of MechWarrior Online. That is, if you’ve purchased a package that grants you early access. Which, rest assured, I have. Onward!
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim – Dawnguard (Xbox 360): Oh, Skyrim, or as I’ve come to call it, “Have you guys checked out this cave?” You silly, fucking boring ass game. Maybe that’s a little harsh. It didn’t start off that way. At first, the cave was cool. I might even have described it as “awesome” a time or two. But guys, the cave lost its charm. I remember when they tried to disguise it with some mechanical robot things. That was cool for a little bit, too. I don’t know, I just never caught the magic of Skyrim. I really tried. When I stopped, I think I had invested around 40 hours in it. I’ve likely brought this up in other posts around here, but I don’t think I can really do these Bethesda games anymore. Don’t let that stop you, though! Dawnguard is out this week, and I bet it has the sweetest caves.
Battlefield 3: Close Quarters (Xbox 360, PC): If you’ve ever listened to the podcast, talked to me, followed this site or read my fan fiction, then it’s likely that you know I really like Battlefield 3. I didn’t get to spend as much time with this iteration as I would have liked. My weekly “game night” group was quickly fractured by other big releases around the same time. Things are kind of quiet on the new release front, so this might be a good time to jump back in. I also just bought a new PC that should be here this week (more on that in a bit). So, maybe it’s a good time to try out that version. I have a feeling a new PC is just going to turn into a money siphon. Why is it that something just automatically sounds cheaper when I can easily download it? Oh, Duke Nukem Forever is $3? I’ll take 6!
Anyway, I’m hoping to check out Close Quarters, but it’s going to depend on how many people I know pick it up. So, hey folks, go buy Close Quarters so I have a reason to do so.
The Amazing Spider-Man (Xbox 360, PS3, PC, Wii, 3DS, DS, iPhone, Android): Hey, see that giant list of systems that this game is coming out on? There’s no better measure of licensed game quality than how many systems get ports. You know this game is going to blow. Don’t fucking buy it, ya dummy.
Spec Ops: The Line (Xbox 360, PS3, PC): I never much cared for the beach. I think it’s mostly because I live and grew up in a place where Galveston island is the closest one. I’ve been trying to change that about myself because it seems like pretty girls and most of my friends enjoy the beach. So, over the weekend a few of my friends from Austin headed down to Galveston for some beer, grilling and general tomfoolery. I decided to join them as part of the aforementioned relationship mending between beaches and me. I can say with confidence that the average age of the females there was pretty much right on par with my age range. However, this average was achieved by a combining equal parts “way too old” and “way too young”. It was pretty disappointing for Barry, Ben, and me, but we did have a box of Little Debbie Swiss Rolls on hand. I hadn’t had one in years, and it was every bit as amazing as I remember it being. The beach is kind of rad.
Oh, Also, Barry was super relaxed. These were taken at five completely different times throughout the weekend.
I Just Bought A New PC: It’s true. The release date for MechWarrior Online was fast approaching and I didn’t want to miss out. I did consider just building a new one, but guys, and this has been a point of contention with “teh hardcorez”, you can buy a pretty sweetass system for about the same price as building. And, you know what? You don’t have to fucking build it or set it up. I pieced together a system that was about on par with what I bought, and it was going to cost hundreds of dollars more. Also, it wouldn’t have included this awesome 24″ LCD monitor I got. I think the main reason people keep saying “it’s so much cheaper to build” is because none of them have tried to buy anything pre-built since 2005. The computer industry got privy to your shit. Also, seriously, I would spend around $200 more on a PC if it meant I didn’t have to build it or set it up. It’s really the pits.
So, yeah, back to MechWarrior Online. I spent about an hour on Sunday night watching videos of gameplay. I can’t fucking wait. I’ve been researching joystick/throttle/pedal combinations. I also spent a good half hour just staring at this prototype. My only complaint on that setup is that it doesn’t already have pedals. However, it is just a prototype. So, who knows what the final could include? I bet my wallet is ready to just lay back and take it like the whore that it is.
More Music I Will Subject You To: Maniac Robot is responsible for our outro music in the podcast. If you’ve enjoyed those three second of music, perhaps you’ll also enjoy this: