The Wii U has been on store shelves for nearly a month now, and Nintendo still has no idea how Black Ops 2, a launch title, is running online matches.
“We’ve got no fucking clue,” said Nintendo of America President and COO, Reggie Fils-Aime. “It’s like some kind of goddamed Voodoo. Yesterday, I go to my buddy Steve’s house and he’s playing some Black Ops 2. I commented on how great the AI was, and he tells me it’s an actual person. There were like eight of ’em in there…”
Fils-Aime stood in stunned silence for several moments before continuing, “Welcome to the fucking future, am I right? Eight people. Playing a game from different houses.”
We attempted to reach Shigeru Miyamoto for comment, but his Prodigy email account was no longer in service.